A shout out to Tim Haag over @ Word Inventions. His short writers horoscope posts have provided this blogger with (long & loud) moments of hilarity, plus he regularly shares helpful writer tips & links. This one’s for you, Tim!
The following comes from the computer files of an avid mystery reader (who started with Agatha Christie in the 5th grade & never looked back.)
It was a dark and stormy night.
No, really, it was dark. The wind blew all the street lampposts down as storm clouds vented horrendous rain, slashing sleet & hail. Lighting and thunder added boisterous hue.
A perfect night to perpetuate a crime. (A perfect night to hide under covers.)
A perfect night for all that is dark to seep into corners usually emanated by light.
Hold on, what goes seep in the night?
Blithering drivel seeps onto a computer screen from the muddled mind of a mystery writer doubt dazed by indecision.
This word. No, that one. No, not creepy enough.
Selection to perfection parries pressure to master the first page, the grand start: En garde! Where to begin? Again. And, again. Until it’s right (what a fright!)
Digressions aside, back to our setting. Dark, stormy, blithering with overcast aspirations our writer sits before a blank screen with a blank mind, not one tiny snivel of drivel.
No perspiration of inspiration.
Wait. If all the lampposts are down and everything is pitch dark, how can a computer be working? Off the electrical hook, a happy ending (almost) – back-ups?
No matter, tonight it’s party time with tinned food by flashlight.
‘Til tomorrow, when a new day dawns @ THE COMPUTER.
grace, peace & blithering drivel
Virginia : )
Great word play, Virginia! My favorite: “Selection to perfection parries pressure to master the first page, the grand start: En garde! Where to begin? Again. And, again. Until it’s right (what a fright!)”
Too nice of you to give me a shout-out. I appreciate your patronage! [I accept cash in denominations of Ben Franklin. ;-> ]
Tim, methinks I should probably stick to photographs (my attempt at humor may have missed a few folks!) Your daily writer horoscopes consistently make this red head laugh (& laugh!) Many thanks! Ben Franklin, let’s see, are those $1 dollar bills? 🙂 Blessings & blithering drivel comedic attempts – Virginia