Fatherless on Father’s Day (again!!)

Here’s a post shared awhile back that still resonates!!

Cherished and adored are two words that remind me of my father, and loved.

Although it’s been several years since Papa passed, there’s still a crater-sized hole in my heart missing him. I don’t think that hole will ever get smaller because Papa loomed so large in my life. Center-stage with Mama, the two of them cheered me on with their love to do and be – whatever, whenever, wherever. Their deep love anchored this redhead through good times and turbulent times: always there, a constant port in every storm.

Papa cherished me (and my 4 siblings) through our growing pains in childhood, the onset of adulthood, and as we muddled our way into middle-aged-hood. He would say, “You are beautiful!” (Growing up with a pimply face and skinny legs, really Papa?) He pushed us to pursue our dreams. He supported us. He made time for us.

Growing up in a boisterous family with five kids, sometimes it was hard for my younger brother and me to get a word in edge-wise. Papa made space for us to speak through daily “round table” dinner discussions where he asked each of us to share the highlights and challenges of our days.

Round table went like this:

  1. “Did you have a good day (or a bad day?)
  2. “What was the best thing (or the worst thing?)
  3. “Do you have anything to ask, or show, or tell?” (We had to bring our ‘shows’ with us to the table.)

Papa spent time with us. He took Section B (what he called my younger brother and me, the three oldest = Section A) on monthly outings for dinner and every Walt Disney movie that came out. (There were many.) When we were a little older it was John Wayne westerns. (There were many of those, too.)

As I grew up these fun outings morphed into more serious encounters – a time set aside to seek his wise counsel and share worries, debacles, hopes and ever changing dreams. An important part of cherishing is encouragement. Papa encouraged me to seek to be all that I can be as his beloved daughter and precious daughter of our Heavenly Father.

When I moved away from home to work in Washington, D.C. and then overseas for many years, Papa and Mama called every week, faxed, and emailed (as technology evolved.) They were always there for me. Even when several oceans separated us, I knew they had my back in prayer with their heavenly-hotline buzzing as I dodged bullets, stones, landmines and endured malaria, fractured ankles (et all.)

Papa always said, “The will of God will never take you where the grace of God cannot keep you.” God dished out grace in many ways and in many places. But a big chunk of “hang-in-there-grace” came through Papa and Mama. Despite incredible challenges, their example of faithfulness – to God, to each other, to us, to ministry – inspired me to keep going.

The will of God has now taken me to this place of being father-less on Father’s Day. I pray for God’s grace to keep me when my heart misses Papa. I miss his larger-than-life presence, his love, encouragement, cherishment, the twinkle in his eyes, his sense of humor, his joy (even when as a bedfast quadriplegic he couldn’t move anything.) I miss his zeal for life, his faith in God, and his faith in me.

Cherished.  Adored.  Loved. All three, a gift from my father to me. There is a crater-sized hole in my heart, but it’s filled with the legacy of Papa’s love: the love of Jesus in and through him to me. Thank you, Papa!

A blessed Father’s Day to you fathers out there. Treasure the moments: cherish, adore & love. See what your children become.

grace, peace & legacies of Love

Virginia  : )

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10 Responses to Fatherless on Father’s Day (again!!)

  1. It’s beautiful to read how supportive and loving your parents were to you.
    Love the round table idea. The fact that he created a space for you to share your thoughts shows how intentionally supportive he was.
    What a beautiful message for the all the fathers out there on what it means to cherish, adore, & love their children.
    Even after he’s gone, his impact is still felt.
    May papa continue to rest on in peace.

    • Virginia says:

      Thank you so much for these words of comfort, Sunshine!! Papa truly was “intentionally supportive” – something we can all aspire to do & be. Wishing you all the best with extra doses of grace, peace & joy! 💐🕊💐🙏💐🎶💐

  2. gmccjosinski says:

    Thank you, Virginia. Keep writing

  3. Becky Loker says:

    I remember your parents well. This is lovely and so true, Ginny. You were blessed.

  4. Fran Johns says:

    So lovely. A reminder for every day: Cherish, love and give thanks.

  5. Debbie says:

    Beautifully written, Virginia! Weren’t we the lucky ones, having fathers like ours? I’m sorry you’re missing him this year as I’m missing my dad — but wouldn’t it be lovely if they were together in Heaven — whole and happy! — and looking down on us kids?!? Virtual hugs for you!

    • Virginia says:

      Virtual hugs back at ‘cha, Debbie. We are truly blessed to have the gift of fathers who loved us!! It’s grand to imagine them whole & happy in Heaven!! Much 💜! 💐🤗💐

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