So, Virginia the Blogger has been M.I.A. the past few weeks due to Extenuating Circumstances, Holidays (cooking trumps blogging : ) & Other Issues…
But, hey, I’m back… just in time for merrily attacking Advent, but more on that later.
Someone famous once said, “Pain & suffering are inevitable, misery is optional.” In my case, I inevitably crash into pain on a regular basis. The challenge remains how to let (or not let) The Pain maim us inside when outside we are hurting, sometimes off-the-charts-BAD. Misery can be a choice.
It seems like pain is always a matter of Bad Timing. I’d rather give it No Time At All, but unfortunately pain is part of the life deal & we have to deal with it. As nasty pain gremlins greedily chisel away at our insides, wounding us not just in body but also in mind & spirit, pain can pound our hearts to bits & make our minds mush.
Onto ‘Extenuating Circumstances…”
Two weeks ago while getting ready for church (!) a massive wave of pain immobilized my forward momentum. ‘Twas excruciating, but my brother & I had planned to see the new James Bond movie that afternoon (’tis often a bit complicated getting ‘coverage’ for the Savvy Saints, but we’d plotted ahead for Opening Weekend!) Not going to church meant No James Bond, so I hobbled painfully into my car & prayed all the way there. Clutching my side entering church, I hoped God noticed the extra effort. (As it became evident that the pain was getting worse, I hope God didn’t notice my bent-over wobbly early exit after communion.)
…Fast forward several hours of Urgent Care, a nite of even more pain & a whole day spent in the Emergency Room with my sister Shere: it turns out not to be a Hernia as originally diagnosed but an Internal Abdominal Muscle Pull.
Given 5+ kidney stone episodes the past 2 years (Va’s internal kidney stone manufacturing plant did not get the memo to cease production, mysteriously churning them out even after giving up salty things that I adore eating), past neck fusion surgery (very sharp nerve pain), a fractured back from falling down a flight of stairs 20+ years ago (my parents call me ‘Calamity Ginny’ for good reason) that led to years of back challenges (like someone is literally stabbing me in the back & twisting the knife?) + multiple ankle fractures, knee surgery (etc) I would say my pain threshold is kinda high.
That Sunday nite the pain MADE ME CRY. (Kidney stones make me very sick & want to scream, but not cry.) This felt like an iron claw was pinching my side with needles around to my back. AUGH.
After running various tests that ruled out the Bad Stuff (strangulated hernia) & finding Other Issues (more for Virginia the Medical Detective to take up with her other docs), the ER doc gave his diagnosis.
Pulled Muscle. huh? To my disheveled disbelief, he added, “sometimes as you get older, these things happen.” You step a certain way. BLAM. Suddenly, you can’t move.
(I really wanted to Blam Him over the head for that ‘getting older’ comment, but the nurse helpfully said she’d seen grown men writhing on the floor crying from the pain of these pulls, thus saving that truly tactful doc potential head injuries!)
Two weeks of bedrest, heat, pills… with Thanksgiving between… arranging Help to turn my Papa (as a bedfast quad we turn him every 4 hrs or so) … & it STILL HURTS.
ok, so not as bad as the ‘it’s hard to move’ first week. But… how annoying.
How unexpectedly ANNOYING.
OK, so I am very grateful it wasn’t something that required surgery (amen & amen on that one for answered prayers) but I am just so tired of the pain scene. As a dedicated Mercy Groupie, I get it – “LORD PLEASE HAVE MERCY, MERCY, MERCY ON ME.. on us, on everyone…” and I already ask God every day for Grace (in extra doses.)
I wish i could say that this pain has drawn me closer to God & all that, but you know what? during heating pad sessions I finished Season 7 of “Deep Space Nine” & watched a huge pile of movies (when there’s time, for sure a bunch of those will go into the Movie List Page above & maybe even a few will get blog-estate here.)
…& TRIED TO BE NICE TO OTHERS even when the pain made me grumpy (Bonus Points to the Heavenly Grace Connection…)
…& prayed for the Beanheads in the Middle East botching things up in Gaza & Israel (even dopey on pain meds my heart cried for the senseless violence there, my scribbled out blog rant will have to be toned sown before circulation!)
…& Gave Thanks. Even in pain, things could be worse… & so many others have it so much worse. There’s the issue of perspective – ‘in all things’ – there are so many things to be thankful for: family, friends, pain meds, heating pads, Grace, Mercy, Joy in special packages (like Amazon Gift cards from my concerned brother, special edible treats from my sister, cards, calls, LOVE & prayers from so many. : )
…. & laughed (a sure cure: watching Yes Minister, Everybody Loves Raymond & reading Lois McMaster Bujold’s latest Vorkosigan adventure on my new Kindle White, a very nice giftie from my Very Nice into-new-gadgets brother : )
So, yes, suffering & pain are inevitable, but I decided not to choose misery in this latest episode of annoying PAIN. yes, I WAS MISERABLE a wee bit, but that’s when prayer really helps. For real. Try it. God does hear(!) Altho we may have pain meds for physical pain – THANK YOU LORD – there’s also Healing Grace for wounded hearts available from Heavenly Dispensers.
(now must get back to the Heating Pad as have overdone ‘sitting-at-the-computer’ & the PAIN IS RAGING, yet again.)
bah, BAH HUMBUG.
“God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience,
but shouts in our pains:
Pain is God’s megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” C.S. Lewis
grace, peace & Pain Management
Virginia : )
p.s. Advent is coming & I am plotting to ‘post-something-a-day’ like Lent. For the record, it might be a photo, quote or something Very (VERY) Short(!)