This photo taken years ago in Petra reminded me of something I highlighted in one of Joan Chittister’s books.
“To be able to face the difficulties of our lives, to admit them and resolve them instead of trying to swallow them in a cauldron of muffled anger, may be the greatest gift we can give those we say we love. It certainly beats resenting them for the rest of our lives and punishing them secretly for doing what we never told them not to do.” Joan Chittister, O.S.B.
This photo taken through an ancient doorway could represent the doorway to our hearts and what happens if we keep swallowing our challenges vs. facing them. Note the stark rock fissure (withered over many years in Petra.)
Can you imagine a heart fissured like that?
That’s the point of the quote: not to let anger fissure our hearts but to face up to ourselves, take ownership of our bads, & move toward resolution with the ones we love.
“I was wrong. I am sorry. Will you forgive me?”
Resentment often festers like a dark winter storm in summer when we don’t share what’s up inside us.
If your loved one or friend Gets On Your Nerves when he, she, they do x or y, and you’ve never said “Please, I am allergic to your cat crawling all over me,” instead suffering the consequences resenting “why do they always make me play with their cat?”
Maybe it’s time to Be Honest.
“I am allergic to your cat…”
There, not so bad. It’s not their fault you’re allergic, but if they don’t know (because you haven’t told them) how does resentment build up that relationship?
Something to think about, that open honesty strengthens our relationships so we can face whatever’s on the horizon, together.
grace, peace & (honest) togetherness
Virginia : )
p.s. Quote taken from Joan Chittister’s book, The Radical Christian Life – a Year with Saint Benedict. For more about her many (wonderfully amazing) books, check out her website: www.JoanChittister.org
🙂 I am allergic, but tend to play with cats anyway. They’re so cute.
I am also allergic, Nora, to cats AND dogs. It’s hard because I love my niece’s dog B.B. (of whom I’ve blogged previously) & so enjoy his company. An allergy dilemma (but love wins out!) Blessings! 💞🐶🤗🐶💞
This was for me!!.I am all of the above…honesty..
And for me, too! Not a good idea to let stuff fester -better to let it out & let it go & let God provide grace to forgive ourselves (& others!) Hugs Carol-Jo! 🌷🙏🌟🙏🌷🤗
Good and insightful words, GL!!
Thanks, Cin. Must have sounded v. familiar- some of these words came straight from Papa! (re:forgiveness) Blessings & big hugs!! 🌷🌟💞🤗💞🌟🌷
I really appreciate this post. I have long time friends that I seem to avoid because their lives are so different from mine, yet I love them and want to show up and be able to share my life and experiences with them authentically. Why assume what I have to offer is any less interesting or valuable than what they have? That’s just wrong. Thank you!
And exquisite photo!
Thank you, Deb – took the birdie pic during an April visit to Chincoteague Island. ☀️😎☀️
Deb, you are SO right on. While doing the full time care-giving gig for my parents, my ‘successful’ friends from grad school humbled me with their encouragement & support during our 10-year reunion ( I didn’t want to attend, but was SO glad I did!) Blessings! 💞🌟🤗🌟💞
Such a beautiful reminder of what we might anticipate being an energy drainer ending up being a life giving energy renewer. It’s fascinating how that works. I’m afraid I’ve missed several opportunities with great regret. They pass, we missed them, and they’re gone forever. Here’s to keeping our eyes up and hearts open to the Spirit’s nudging. ❤️
Amen, Deb – I average about 50/50 (re: missed opportunities.) Cheers to being more in tune with the Spirit (& following through on those Nudges!) Blessings & kindred spirit hugs! 🕊🙏🤗🙏🕊
A good life lesson in this post. Thanks, V.
It’s not an easy lesson to open ourselves up to honest dialogue with our loved ones – but it sure helps. Watched Berne Brown’s thought-provoking video about the courage of vulnerability on Netflix last nite. Lots to contemplate! Blessings, Tim! 🌷🤗🌷
Great post! Thank you for sharing, Virginia! Blessings! ❤
Thanks, Patty. A dear mentor also taught me to keep short accounts -to deal with an issue, then move on (not back, letting it fester.) Blessings & hugs! 💞🤗💞
It is a very wise teaching! Thank you for sharing it, Virginia! Much love ❤