The Weight of the Matter

“Keep in mind that even during a pandemic no matter much chocolate (and cheese) you eat, your earrings will still fit.” Anonymous

A comforting thought in these troubled times, especially for chocoholics like Virginia.

Virginia is glad her earrings still fit, but finding a pair of shorts that fit is another matter altogether, a weighty matter.

The weight of the matter is heavy, TEN POUNDS to be exact. The problematic location of these pounds makes squeezing into summer shorts an impossible task.

The other day while trying on 20 pairs of spiffy shorts from the recesses of her closet, Virginia thought: “How could they all have shrunk over the winter?”

It seems unlikely that 20 pairs of shorts would shrink, all at the same time.

Hmmn. Miss Murple in Purple (what my brother calls this avid Miss Marple groupie) made a calculated deduction.

To the scales! Oi vey, not a happy day.

All those coronavirus stay-at-home treats from Virginia the Baker (cheesy biscuits, blueberry cheese muffins, chocolate ricotta muffins…) and Virginia the Cook (cheesy veggie lasagna, 5 bean chili-cheese soup & 4 cheese nachos a little too often) = a weighty matter.

Too much matter in me!

Unless Virginia does something drastic (like, um, a DIET) her shorts won’t fit until September – when it will be time for them to be packed away.

Voluptuous Virginia must get her “well rounded” curves back in the right places.

Fortunately, Virginia’s t-shirts (like this one) still fit

This week it’s back to lettuce and NO MORE CHEESE.*

grace, peace & weighty matters

Virginia : )

*Chocolate still allowed. (Virginia must keep up her strength!)

This entry was posted in Life (in general), Quotes and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to The Weight of the Matter

  1. Michelle says:

    It’s hard not to gain weight when you’re stuck in the house with all those goodies. 😁

    • Virginia says:

      I went on a baking spree during the quarantine, trying new recipes (the chocolate ricotta muffins really are delish, especially made with rich Dutch baking chocolate) – plus we tried to support local businesses (like Celli’s Chocolate Chips, our favorite cookie bakery) with pick-up orders. Yikes – it all adds up! 🍫😋🧁😋🍪

  2. Hi Virginia, I enjoyed your post. Thanks for liking some of mine.😊

  3. Debbie says:

    I had to giggle over this one, Virginia (sorry!). And the quote about the earrings still fitting does seem apt. I’m not sure, but I think I might actually have lost a pound or so as a result of eating more healthily and avoiding fast food restaurants. Good luck with the lettuce!

    • Virginia says:

      Oh Debbie, you LOST weight? 😮 Voluptuous Virginia is impressed. I had quite a laugh writing this, rescuing lettuce t-shirt from laundry basket just before posting for a photo op. I actually like salads (with lettuce of many types) but this t-shirt makes me laugh so hard, it’s an exercise in hilarity to wear. “Lettuce” be about it! 🥬🤣🥬

  4. Mrs ESTJ says:

    Wow my earrings DO still fit! That’s all though!

  5. TMH says:

    Bravo to the photos, especially the top one. You are always a master at multiple meaning wording. I don’t wear earrings [yeah, like the world needed to know that…], but I find that my sandals still fit. Even gravity has its merciful side.

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