snapshot(s) & whatnot: …oh, joy begin…

Posted on May 11, 2017 by Virginia

THE SNAPSHOT(s)

(From Hermanus, South Africa) 

Oh, joy begin…

…again…

…again & again & again…

Oh, joy begin.

… & WHATNOT

Last nite Stephen Colbert hosted DAVE MATTHEWS on his show. I have been a Dave Matthews groupie for quite awhile: my best friend gave me his 1st album when he was still playing gigs around Charlottesville in the early 1990s. Ahem (awhile, quite!) She stayed around for grad school (while I graduated uni a few years prior to his presence in C’ville.)

His music still gets me up & dancing, or introverted & thinking – like last nite.

The song Dave Matthews played with guitarist Tim Reynolds is about the joy of having a child. So appropriate for Mother’s Day (celebrated on Sunday here in America.) The lyrics also rock about joy & tolerance. Be blessed to give it a listen.

Could not figure out why the name of this song is Samurai Cop?

“Let’s not forget these early days

Remember we begin the same

We lose our way in fear & pain

Oh, joy begin…”     (Dave Matthews)

grace, peace & JOY (the beginnings of)

Virginia : )

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snapshot & whatnot: an elephant, good grief!

Posted on May 4, 2017 by Virginia

THE SNAPSHOT…

…an Elephant @ Samburu National Reserve, Kenya… (photo: VLW)

…& WHATNOT

In Sheryl Sandberg & Adam Grant’s book, “Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience & Finding Joy,” the second chapter is entitled Kicking the Elephant Out of the Room. The elephant being the loss, adversity, or whatever huge challenge faces you that everyone avoids talking about when they see you.

After the loss of her husband, Sheryl Sandberg realized she had actually avoided elephants in the room with friends, including a close friend who has multiple sclerosis. When she asked him, “how are you? I mean, really, how are you? How are you feeling?” He responded with heartfelt honesty and appreciation for the opportunity to share how he felt and what was really going on in his life.

This reminded me of my bedfast quadriplegic Papa, who always asked that question, “How are you, I mean, really? How are you, really?” And he really wanted to know. Many visitors & friends left unburdened and comforted because there was no room for elephants in time spent with my Papa.

Here’s to kicking elephants out of the rooms of hurting families, friends & colleagues by acknowledging loss, suffering, adversity and challenges with heartfelt inquiry:

How are you, REALLY????  (I care about you & I’m here for you.)

grace, peace & out-the-door elephants

Virginia : )

p.s. Highly recommend this book! Here’s additional advice from chapter 2:

“When life gives you lemons, I WON’T tell you a story about my cousin’s friend WHO DIED OF LEMONS.”  Emily McDowell

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The Utility of Futility

Posted on May 3, 2017 by Virginia

“All men know the utility of useful things; but they do not know the utility of futility.” Chaung-Tzu

Ever have one of those days? A few weeks ago, I had one. Early one morning when my brother took me across town to pick up my car @ the repair shop, my misbehaving phone somehow stayed behind.

Can’t be without my phone for an hour?  Nope.

(We were under a tornado watch.)

So, I drove 20 minutes across town to pick up the phone. Then drove back across town for allergy shots at the doctor’s office (previously passed on the way from the repair shop home to pick up phone.)

Makes sense, right?

Then there’s the reason for allergy shots: I can’t breathe.

No, seriously.

Flowers busting into bloom everywhere make this a lovely time of year, truly beautiful, but they make the task of breathing difficult for this red head. (My parents couldn’t believe it when I came home after working years overseas to find I’m allergic to 48 of the 50 airborne things in these parts?!)

Makes sense, right? Allergic to my hometown? Where I grew up without these challenges?

Then, on the way back home from the allergy doctor’s office, the engine light in my car came back on. The #@*$# engine light.

Oh, those happy, ignorant, moments from the car shop home spent plotting trips in spiffed-up car, with all systems spinning in sync. After numerous trips to repair shop to service misbehaving engine light, this time had such high hopes (after a high bill!)

Bing, engine light is back on.

Turned around, drove back across town to the car repair shop to check error code, or something. Two hours later, engine light disappeared with more investigative auto work. Trekked happily back out with healthy car, but 10 miles later, bing! Engine light back on.

Can’t breathe, car still sick (after $900 tab), but at least I had my phone with me.

These are inconsequential annoyances (although breathing is necessary.) But there’s lots of seriously tough stuff going on in our whacked-out world: bombs, terror, lopsided lives facing oversized injustice, and too many hard-to-bear challenges at home.

That got me thinking about the utility of futility. Looked it up & found it’s actually a concept contemplated by others. (Comforting, that!)

Overcoming challenges often seems impossible when viable solutions seem like exercises in futility. Why bother? When nothing seems to change?

Sometimes as much as we try, we can’t fix it. Maybe we’ve tried to think and work outside the box, doing new things. But it still doesn’t work.

The point about the utility of futility, however, is to keep on trying.

Michael Irvin, a famous American football player, gave a Hall of Fame speech 10 years ago I still remember watching with my Papa. He was a colorful character (nice way of putting it.) During his speech, this hugely talented football player cried and asked his wife & children’s forgiveness for his past egregious mistakes. On national television. In front of a gazillion people.

He left us with a message: “Look up. Get up. Never give up.”

Got that? One more time: LOOK UP. GET UP. NEVER GIVE UP.

The utility of futility: we keep on going.

Even if an answer is not in sight, we keep trying. Maybe change is slow in coming, but we keep going. Seems insurmountable ending things like global hunger, disease, human trafficking, and fighting for justice where hope has been hammered with violent oppression.

Step by step, however small, we keep on going.

Sometimes we change in the process…

Especially if we seek God’s help – to let go, and let God?

Change the way we’re coping on the personal front as we seek Heavenly shots of God’s love to help us find that sweet spot where the utility of futility and the futility of utility merge…

Where our want-to-be struggles with not, not-to-be, can’t be, won’t-even-try-to-be?

We keep trying, one step, next step…trusting, praying… one step, next step:

LOOKING UP. GETTING UP. NEVER GIVING UP.

grace, peace & futility utilities

Virginia : )

“But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.” (2Corinthians 4:7-9)

looking up rainbow (outside our home!)

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SNAPSHOTS & WHATNOTS: …contemplative turtles…

Posted on April 28, 2017 by Virginia

Virginia the Blogger has been getting her grooves back, sort of. Hard to believe Roses in the Rubble turns SIX in July! Originally started to review books, movies, music and artsy endeavors, this blog has veered more toward advocacy… inspiration… and faith. (Advent & Lent post-a-day gigs tally 226 of 383 the total posts to date.) 🙂

Trying to sort out the future (and managing to post something each week) an idea grooved the little brain-blogging cells this week.

At one point this blog featured weekly “Wednesday Photographs.”  Bet that title grabbed ‘ya, right? Photos were often posted other days (not just Wednesdays), so that fizzled out after a bit. But Virginia, your humble blogger, likes taking photographs, so how does weekly Snapshots and Whatnots grab ‘ya?

I sure like the open-endedness of it: photos and whatever I feel like adding?

(As you may surmise, the odd quote (or two) is the most likely ‘whatnot’…)

The thing is, not everyone has oodles of time to read treatises on various subjects, so a quick snapshot, quote and woooosh, on to the next thing.

(Hopefully after taking a sec to contemplate the pic & whatnot?)

An added bonus: Snapshots and Whatnots can be posted on any day of the week!? No limiting to just Wednesdays! How’s that!?

So, here’s the first one (after this long introduction…)

THE SNAPSHOT….

…a contemplative turtle.. (@ the Va. Beach Aquarium)

…& WHATNOT

Last night while binge watching Tavis Smiley shows piled up in the DVR, I was mesmerized by his interview with Professor Michael Eric Dyson (of Georgetown University) there promoting his book: “Tears We Cannot Stop.”

“Never reduce your dreams to the event you confront right now. Because, if you reduce it to now, you lose the horizon of possibility.”  Howard Thurman (as quoted by Professor Dyson)

grace, peace & horizons of possibility

Virginia : )

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..dealing with grief and adversity…

Posted on April 25, 2017 by Virginia

As a Stephen Colbert groupie, I record his Late Nite show every night & binge watch them at some point each week. Sometimes bits get fast forwarded, but I always like to watch his encounters with guests that are often hilarious.

Stephen Colbert is a comedian, a truly funny guy!

But last night he had a special, more serious encounter with Sheryl Sandberg, the Chief Operating Officer of Facebook, about dealing with grief and adversity. You may not be aware that as a 10-year old Stephen Colbert lost his father and two of his older brothers in a plane crash.

Be inspired by watching this 5 minute YouTube video of their encounter.

When Sheryl Sandberg’s husband died suddenly in 2015, she was completely devastated. Two years later she is offering up her experience to help others in a book co-written with her friend, Adam Grant: Option B:Facing Adversity, Finding Resilience & Finding Joy.

“We are not born with a fixed amount of resilience. It’s like a muscle: we can build it in ourselves and each other.” Sheryl Sandberg

grace, peace & resilience

Virginia

p.s. you can check out more resources at the Option B website

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Books! Books! Books!

Posted on April 23, 2017 by Virginia

“I cannot live without books.”  Thomas Jefferson

Virginia the blogger posted something yesterday & here she is again? But, it’s WORLD BOOK DAY. That’s right, today we celebrate reading, literacy, and BOOKS.

As a self-confessed bookaholic (my sister invited me to Celebrate Recovery at her church for my ‘book thing’), I have collected a few books: a whole study with floor to ceiling bulging shelves, overflowing shelves in my room, the guestroom, and piles of books in every corner awaiting shelf space.

You get the idea – I like books. I really like books!

When I was a child, my Mama took my younger brother and me to the library every week. We happily carried out piles of books, read them cover to cover, then returned the next week for new piles. The cool thing: my brother eventually became a librarian, and has been one for 18 years. And, yes, I still enjoy weekly visits to the library.

Reading. Books. Reading. Reading. More Books. Books. Reading.

Why do we read?

Books transport us to other places, to new worlds, to different parts of our world that develop and stretch our imagination muscles. When we get lost in a good story, we touch something outside ourselves that takes us away from our humdrum existence.

We read to know. To know more about others, about ourselves.

Books teach us how to: read, speak, learn, garden, travel, do maths, and understand a host of subjects in textbooks we muddle through in school…

…or how to cook, like these favorite cookbooks in my kitchen, that (in addition to 200+ in the study) also make food exciting, offering opportunities to try new things.

Books educate, not just how to cook or for classes in school, but on a seemingly infinite number of subjects. The challenges and triumphs in our world: what’s working & what’s not. History. Biography. The real lives of real people who have made a difference, often pushing the limits of what’s possible. Then there are those who have done horrible things, we read about them hoping never again.

Books introduce us to concepts, ideas, people. To situations and people outside of our experience, yet reading about them develops empathy in our hearts. Or, we resonate in eureka moments: hey, it’s not just me, others have faced this, struggled with this, too.

Books can astound us with beauty: the art of poetry, of blissful skies crafted in our imaginations from story, of characters we come to know like friends.

Books can make us laugh, and laugh, and laugh. (My Farside & Calvin & Hobbes books toted overseas to conflict zones may be tattered, but they sure helped lighten the load!)

Books build our sense of wonder (Science Fiction, Fantasy), or take us where we don’t want to go (like Horror, of which I am not a fan, creepy, creepy.)

Books make us think, and puzzle, like a good mystery: a good who done it?

C.S. Lewis said, “I can’t imagine really enjoying a book and reading it only once.”  There are books to which we return, repeatedly, that become part of us. Books that touch our minds and hearts.

Then there are books of faith that zap our souls and draw us to Light and Love. Books so precious with truths that jump off the page, indelibly written in our minds and hearts.

We turn to them, again & again. Books that inspire, lead, guide us, and help us cope when hard times come knocking.

Why read?

To be inspired. To inspire ourselves and to inspire others.

We read for our hearts, minds and spirits.

We read for the joy of reading.

“A book, too, can be a star, a living fire to lighten the darkness, leading out into the expanding universe.”  Madeleine L’ Engle

So, here’s a confession of a bookaholic. My idea of a good time: a big cup of tea, a good book, comfy chair… and no plans for the evening.

Happy World Book Day!

grace, peace & books!

Virginia : )

p.s. Gotta dash, it’s the last day of our Friends of the Williamsburg Regional Library annual Book Sale!!   😊

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…earth day inspiration…

Posted on April 22, 2017 by Virginia

It’s Earth Day 2017: a day to give thanks for our truly amazing planet…

… and consider all that needs doing to protect it from imploding. Today our planet Earth faces huge climate change challenges, environmental degradation of natural resources, pollution, lack of safe water access in many communities…

…deforestation and…and…and… the list is, sadly, way too long.

The challenges can be so overwhelming we end up stymied, doing nothing, or maybe just mouthing off sentiments once a year when Earth Day comes around.

“It’s bad, bad, bad – the fault of big corporations and apathetic governments.”

Hey, you (& me), the point of Earth Day (& each day) is #1 – to be grateful for this amazing planet and appreciate the beauty of creation all around us. What a gift! And, #2 – to do our part to take better care of what’s around us.

Getting involved in advocacy campaigns is admirable (check out the Earth Day website for links.) We can, however, have a positive impact on the environment around us by daily choices we make.

At a women’s conference two years ago, my sister and I attended an environmental advocacy workshop. Taking furious notes on the stack of handouts of all the things that needed changing, I felt a bit overwhelmed. Egads, who knew? And what about the cost?  (Why is it that environmentally safe alternatives are often so expensive?) At the end, however, our workshop leader challenged us: instead of trying to change everything (which most often leads to not changing anything), choose ONE THING to change.

And make that change.

I had already switched to organic natural bath soap, made by a local artisan, and we recycle our glass, tin, paper & plastic items (for biweekly curb-pick up in our neighborhood.) So, I decided to switch to environmentally safe laundry detergent. Doesn’t seem like such a huge thing, but two years later, I’m still using ECOS detergent.

Last year I switched to environmentally safe dish detergent… and still going.

Small steps, small choices, but one by one, can make a difference.

Maybe you can ride a bike to work vs. always driving a car? Maybe that next car purchase can be a hybrid? (or electric car? they seem pretty amazing.) Or support locally grown initiatives, farm-to-table restaurants, farmer’s markets (local produce always tastes so much better!) Or get involved in community gardens (or plant your own: my brother has 12 different vegetables going in pots on our deck, and herbs overflowing all around the backyard.)

Looking at water issues globally also overwhelms, but maybe pick a favorite agency to support safe water, like a well or filtration system, for one community?

There’s so much to do, but try to pick ONE THING: and do it. Then, after that’s a habit, choose another…

…taking small steps on the path towards a greener, healthy planet.

“This me, like all of creation, lives in a glorious dance of communion with all the universe. In isolation we die; in interdependence we live.”  Madeleine L’Engle

While searching for favorite musician John Adorney‘s “If a Rose Could Speak” (see my previous blog about it) to finish this off, I found another inspirational song of his, “Even in Your Darkest Hour,” with amazing photographs that are so appropriate for Earth Day. Give it a watch (& listen) and be blessed (not overwhelmed!)

grace, peace & glorious interdependent Earth Day dances

Virginia : )

p.s. all photos taken during Vancouver & Canadian Rockies trip last June. From the top: Lake Minnewanka, a lonely tree @ Morraine Lake, Butchart Gardens pathway, & treeline @ Banff National Park.

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Good Friday Blues

Posted on April 14, 2017 by Virginia

Good Friday: Jesus is rejected, beaten, mocked, whipped, scourged. After carrying a heavy cross, nails pierce His hands and His feet. There He hangs, on the cross, suffering for you, and me; suffering for us & all humanity.

“Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing.”  (Luke 23:34)

Easter is coming, but the Suffering Christ is there for us, with us, in our suffering. Can we draw closer to the Cross?

To stand… like Mary.

“Now there stood by the cross of Jesus his mother…” (John 19:25)

At the foot of the Cross, Mary must have wondered amidst flashbacks of angels, shepherds, wise men, kingly gifts, miracles of water into wine. How came her son, the Messiah, to hang like a common criminal on a cross?

Yet, in sorrow Mary stood. With the faith of her ‘yes’ to the angel, to God, risking all, 33 years later she stands at the foot of the Cross. Confused and bewildered? Most likely, yet in faith she stood.

Maybe our suffering is so great it’s hard to move forward; maybe it’s crushing our spirits and our will to do. Perhaps we’ve stumbled, taken a tumble, and it’s hard to stand after a fall.

But, look at Christ on the Cross, suffering. He’s there for me, and for you. Do we have  faith, like Mary, to stand? Even if we don’t fully understand?

“Failure is painful, but without pain there is no living in love. So, go through the arches of Christ’s pain and enter into the joy of His heart. Unite yourself with Him and his passion and keep on going.”  Catherine Doherty

grace, peace & Good Friday blues

Virginia

Here’s something to lift Good Friday blues from one of my favorite singers, Sarah Hart. Be blessed to give it a listen and find “Joy in These Bones.”

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Holy Thursday L.O.V.E.

Posted on April 13, 2017 by Virginia

The Easter Triduum begins tonight with celebration of the Lord’s Supper & culminates with the celebration of Christ’s Resurrection on Easter Sunday. Here are a few thoughts, again, about the L.O.V.E. of Jesus. 

Holy Thursday takes us to the Upper Room where the first thing Jesus did was wash the disciples’ feet, humbly like a servant. Across the world this evening thousands of lay people will have their feet washed by Clergy (bishops, priests, pastors, the Pope!)  I don’t know about you, but if asked to be one of the in-public-washees, I would make sure my feetsies were properly pedicured before anyone (especially a priest) washes them.

In the time of Jesus most folks wore sandals. Walking around the Middle East is a dusty business, which would make the disciples’ feet smelly, dirty & definitely not pre-pedicured. But Jesus takes those smelly feet gently in His hands and washes the grime away. Jesus, their leader. Jesus, the Messiah. Jesus, the Son of God. Jesus, their Teacher. On His knees. With a towel and basin. Washing. Their feet. Teaching them (and us) a lesson in LOVE.

It’s time to put on our aprons of faith, roll up our sleeves and start washing. Since those water buckets get heavy, it’s a good idea to strengthen our L.O.V.E. muscles. How?

Live   Others-centered  Value  Everyone

Live   We must choose to live love, because love is a choice. Choosing to live with a towel of love wrapped around our attitudes vs. being dead to the needs of those around us or within us. Living in Love is to be alive with the love of Christ in the deepest part of our hearts & letting that love infiltrate our minds & other parts of our being.

Others-centered   Washing feet puts the focus on what we can do for others. Small things, big things, sometimes smelly things: our actions speak louder than our words. Being others-centered means not seeking ‘what’s in it for me’ but what’s in me for others.  (“love always protects, trusts, hopes, perseveres…” I Cor 13:7)

Value     To tenderly wash someone’s feet intimates their value. Jesus tells us to love our neighbors as ourselves, but first we must ‘get’ our Beloved status as daughters & sons of The King of Heaven. We are beloved. Of value. As we act out of our Belovedness, we recognize that same status in others and lift them up (not down), showing them they are beloved by God and us. Valued. Valuable. Precious in God’s sight, and ours.

Everyone     A tax collector (sell-out to Rome), Zealot (freedom fighter/terrorist depending on which side you’re on) & Judas (the betrayer): Jesus washed the feet of everyone in that Upper Room. That means your annoying colleague, neighbor, pushy Republican/ Democrat in-law, liberal or conservative, a (sometimes) friend. Ever thought about washing the feet of those with whom you have very little in common? or maybe even dislike? Love is not so much about ‘like’ as it is about choice & commitment.  Everyone also includes HIV/AIDS victims, the rich, poor, politicians (!!) & people of every color, ethnicity & ability around this world. EVERYONE.

If we exercised our L.O.V.E. muscles more often (vs. our ‘judge-others’ muscles) maybe (just maybe) we might fulfill what Jesus Christ asked us to do:

“Do you know what I have done to you? ..if I, your Lord & Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet… As the Father has loved Me, so I have loved you; abide in My love… This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.”    (John 13:12, 14; John 15: 9, 12)

grace, peace & L.O.V.E. muscles

Virginia : )

p.s. Years ago when I started the care-giving gig for my parents, my sister gave me this beautiful ceramic of Jesus with His basin and towel. Setting it next to my bed, it was a great reminder of the love of Jesus during many nights & days of washing my Mama & Papa’s feet (& many other places, like the kitchen floor!) 🙂

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celebratory vibes vs. whiny vibes…

Posted on April 8, 2017 by Virginia

The post I’ve been working on the last two days still has whiny vibes, so here’s a flower pic sent yesterday to my sis on her birthday. Celebratory vibes vs. whiny vibes? Celebratory vibes win: Easter is only one week away!

After photographing these flowers last June at Butchart Gardens in Victoria (B.C.) during our Canada trip, I’m still amazed at their beaming beauty. Inspiring. Uplifting.

We just got home from a most precious memorial celebration for the father of a dear friend. There were a few tears, yet so much joy and laughter celebrating his life – well loved and well lived. Inspiring. Uplifting.

It reminded me of a devotional reading from Henri Nouwen last week:

“There is a time for mourning and a time for dancing.” (Ecclesiastes 3:4) But mourning and dancing are never fully separated… In fact, their times may become one. Mourning may turn into dancing and dancing into mourning without showing a clear point where one ends and the other starts… Let’s trust that the beauty of our lives becomes visible where mourning and dancing touch each other.”   Henri Nouwen, Bread for the Journey

Mourning and dancing touch each other…

Life is a gift!

grace, peace & inspiring lives

Virginia : )

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